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Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in holidayhouse's LiveJournal:

    Friday, April 2nd, 2004
    9:39 am
    Elitist bitch
    I was just looking for a local group for moms of toddlers. I think I really need to spend some time with cool women in real life who have things in common with me like small cute humans running around.

    The problem is that I can't stand dumb people. It is horrible and probably a huge flaw in my personality. I just can't bring myself to pursue friendships with most people... in fact, I avoid it actively.

    What does it say about me that I am wondering if I could find a Mensa mom's group? Maybe it just says that I don't want the most exciting thing I talk about with the women I hang out with to be the big cookie exchange.

    I guess I also want to commiserate with women that I have some things in common with. Normal life organizational things. If I went to the park with a mom who neatly set up camp from her perfectly planned and organized day-pack complete with full place settings and nap mats, I'd look at her and wonder "Didn't you have anything *better* to do with your time?" I want someone to spill out their goods with mine and help me figure out how we will possibly make do with the hodge podge of goods we happened to find important enough to stuff in our funky lumpy bags.

    And I want her/them to be funny. Funny is important.

    Current Mood: lonely
    Saturday, March 27th, 2004
    11:34 am
    Nothing going on
    My first flower popped up through the ground today. It's a gray kind of blah day, though. The flower's probably bummed. I should go and ooh and aah over it so it feels a little bit appreciated. Right now it's looking pretty lonely and like it regrets coming.

    There's nothing going on around here today. The dogs are all lying around sleeping, the kids are just *around* (they pause the idle lounging thing frequently to continue their quest to eat me out of house and home), Alex is working on science stuff, message boards are slow, I'm not particularly excited about anything.

    I like being excited about *something*. I usually make a point to have something to be excited about. Today I just want to make it through to bedtime when I can sleep and dream vivid pregnancy dreams. There are always things to be excited about in those. :-)

    Current Mood: indifferent
    Monday, March 15th, 2004
    9:15 am
    The Ides of March
    Five years ago today, I met Alex. He had such a mystique about him. I can remember the way his house smelled. I can remember the way my stomach felt when I saw him. How amazing that the two separate people we were then have come to this. We have built all of this in just five years. We made a wonderful baby and have a wonderful family and a lovely little life out here in the country. If I'd told myself as I was then, I never would have believed it. Me now would walk up to jumping-stomach me then and whisper in my ear *hey - see that guy over there on the motorcycle?* I'd look at myself like I was crazy and say *um, yeah I see him!* I'd say *In five years, you'll have him wrapped around your little finger.* Laughter. Just a little. *Ok, sure.* I'd maybe rub my shoulder a little and say *Really, I mean it. In five years, you two will live out in the country in a cozy little house, the boys will call him dad, and you'll have a beautiful daughter and another baby on the way.* I'd probably start scanning the street for police to remove the raving lunatic from my presence. :)

    Current Mood: loved
    Saturday, January 17th, 2004
    10:50 am
    *yawn*
    I haven't updated in a long time. I'm lazy. My baby is sick. Excuses, excuses. What is there to say, really? I've been consumed by apathy. Alex keeps asking me "What's wrong?" and "Are you ok?" I'm perfectly fine, just feeling disconnected. I don't feel like communicating. My inside and my outside need a break from eachother. I feel happy, loving, content. It just takes enormous effort to get my outside to reflect that. Maybe I just need to get really really drunk.

    Current Mood: apathetic
    Friday, January 2nd, 2004
    3:27 pm
    Alex's response to Phil
    Those damned spanish people, working in hotels.... they're always bringing me down when I am trying to carry on with my life. Case in point: the morally subversive and culturally ubitquitous Taco Bell dog. A prime example of immigrants and foreigners trying to force the middle class into the first steps down the slippery slope of cultural submission. Why couldn't the dog just say "I want Taco Bell"? Or why didn't it say "Ich mochte Taco Bell"? I'll tell you why, because we whipped their Krauty asses in WWII and they won't dare try to take over America now. Yes, I am drinking ale and eating a brat, why do you ask? And let's not even ask why it doesn't say "Watashi wa Taco Bell ga daisuke desu." Two words for the answer there: Hiro-fucking-shima and Nagasaki. But no, the Taco Bell dog says "Yo quiero Taco Bell", a clear signal to the clustered masses of potentially violent insurrectionist immigrants. And, since you asked, I think it is terrible that all those Spanish people are so devotedly and dogmatically atheistic.

    Current Mood: rejuvenated
    2:33 pm
    Email from dad
    My dad sent me this forwarded email. Disturbed me to the point of insomnia last night:


    Will we still be the Country of choice and still be America if we continue to make the changes forced on us by the people from other countries that came to live in America because it is the Country of Choice??? Think about it . . .


    All I have to say is, when will they do something about MY RIGHTS? I celebrate Christmas, but because it isn't celebrated by everyone, we can no longer say Merry Christmas. Now it has to be Season's Greetings. It's not Christmas vacation, it's Winter Break. Isn't it amazing how this winter break ALWAYS occurs over the Christmas holiday? We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend anyone, that I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a problem with that.

    This says it all!

    This is an editorial written by an American citizen, published in a Tampa newspaper. He did quite a job; didn't he? Read on, please!



    IMMIGRANTS, NOT AMERICANS, MUST ADAPT.

    I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we
    are offending some individual or their culture.
    Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11,
    we have experienced a surge in patriotism
    by the majority of Americans.
    However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled
    when the "politically correct" crowd began complaining about
    the possibility that our patriotism was offending others.

    I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge
    against anyone who is seeking a better life
    by coming to America.
    Our population is almost entirely made up
    of descendants of immigrants.
    However, there are a few things that those
    who have recently come to our country,
    and apparently some born here, need to understand.
    This idea of America being a multicultural community
    has served only to dilute our sovereignty
    and our national identity.
    As Americans, we have our own culture,
    our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle.
    This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women
    who have sought freedom.


    We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic,
    Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language.
    Therefore, if you wish to become part
    of our society, learn the language!

    "In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women,
    on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented..
    It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools.
    If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world
    as your new home, because God is part of our culture.

    If Stars and Stripes offend you, or you don't like Uncle Sam,
    then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet.
    We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change,
    and we really don't care how you did things where you came from.
    This is OUR COUNTRY, our land, and our lifestyle.
    Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his opinion
    and we will allow you every opportunity to do so.
    But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about our flag,
    our pledge, our national motto, or our way of life, I highly encourage you
    take advantage of one other great American freedom,
    THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.

    If you agree -- pass this along;
    if you don't agree -- delete it!
    Phil
    AMEN

    I figure if we all keep passing this to our friends
    (and enemies) it will also, sooner or later
    get back to the complainers, lets all try,

    Here's what I sent back to him (ignore my misspellings) I am eagerly awaiting his response. I've never really talked to him this way:

    ****My thoughts...****

    >
    >
    > Will we still be the Country of choice and still be America if we continue to make the changes forced on us by the people from other countries that came to live in America because it is the Country of Choice??? Think about it . . .


    ****What people from other countries are forcing things? What things are they forcing? How are they going about forcing? Sounds like an ignorant statement to me.****

    >
    >
    >
    > All I have to say is, when will they do something about MY RIGHTS? I celebrate Christmas, but because it isn't celebrated by everyone, we can no longer say Merry Christmas.


    ****Since when?! Again, smells like BS. You can say Merry Christmas all you want and I have never had anyone, especially "immigrants" be offended by it. There are children of many cultures in our schools, and I personally don't think it's a big deal to include everyone in the holiday season terminology. So, is this guy saying that if I want to be a good American, I MUST celebrate Christmas? Bah.****

    > Now it has to be Season's Greetings. It's not Christmas vacation, it's Winter Break. Isn't it amazing how this winter break ALWAYS occurs over the Christmas holiday? We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend anyone, that I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a problem with that.


    ****What is offensive to this man (woman?)? If he/she is offended by having to say Winter Break, I suggest anti-depressants.****

    >
    > This says it all!
    >
    > This is an editorial written by an American citizen, published in a Tampa newspaper. He did quite a job; didn't he? Read on, please!
    >
    >
    >
    > IMMIGRANTS, NOT AMERICANS, MUST ADAPT.
    >
    > I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we
    > are offending some individual or their culture.
    > Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11,
    > we have experienced a surge in patriotism
    > by the majority of Americans.
    > However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled
    > when the "politically correct" crowd began complaining about
    > the possibility that our patriotism was offending others.


    ****Funny that I missed that. Is this about "Freedom Fries" and stuff? This sounds like it's pulled from someone's... uh... you know...****

    >
    >
    > I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge
    > against anyone who is seeking a better life
    > by coming to America.
    > Our population is almost entirely made up
    > of descendants of immigrants.
    > However, there are a few things that those
    > who have recently come to our country,
    > and apparently some born here, need to understand.
    > This idea of America being a multicultural community
    > has served only to dilute our sovereignty
    > and our national identity.


    ****Dilute, or change? Change happens constantly. I have a theory that this person entered the age of stubborn conservatism. No change is acceptable. Too old and lazy to consider changing with the times, so he is intimidated and scared by the big scary changing world.****

    >
    > As Americans, we have our own culture,
    > our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle.
    > This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women
    > who have sought freedom.


    ****Huh? Which ONE society, language, and lifestyle is he referring to? White middleclass America? Like the tv-show fifties type stuff with rows of matching houses and kids on bikes..? Again, sounds like a scared old guy. The truth is that the world is changing, and so is this country. The world will soon see a global community rather than each separate country ... that is if Bush doesn't destroy the entire planet first.****

    >
    >
    >
    > We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic,
    > Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language.
    > Therefore, if you wish to become part
    > of our society, learn the language!


    ****Ok, I agree with this part.****

    >
    >
    > "In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women,
    > on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented..
    > It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools.
    > If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world
    > as your new home, because God is part of our culture.


    ****Holy ick batman! No, I DO NOT WANT GOD ON THE WALLS OF MY CHILDREN'S SCHOOLS, OR IN THEIR DAILY CHANTS OF ALLEGIANCE, OR ANYWHERE NEAR THEM AT ALL! And I'm not even an ingrate immigrant. In fact, it is not the immigrants who are so against God lessons. It's the smart people. (Down with the smart people! Blah!)****

    >
    >
    > If Stars and Stripes offend you, or you don't like Uncle Sam,
    > then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet.


    ****Ha! Or how about we do the historically appropriate thing and solicit CHANGE to fit US in the NEW WORLD! This person is clinging to his image of patriotism and Uncle Sam from his youth... and it is sorely outdated.****

    >
    > We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change,


    ****What is this "we" shit? Is he talking about the old boys' club members? I'm sorry, but his "we" is greatly outnumbered by more openminded people, thankfully.****

    >
    > and we really don't care how you did things where you came from.
    > This is OUR COUNTRY, our land, and our lifestyle.


    ****Legally? Again, who is this "us" and "ours"? I actually do care how people did things where they came from if they are better ways. American culture is pretty depauperate if you ask me. We need a hand in that department.****

    >
    > Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his opinion
    > and we will allow you every opportunity to do so.
    > But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about our flag,
    > our pledge, our national motto, or our way of life,


    ****The only whining I hear is stuff like this whole thing... by old white "Americans" (well, and Joe). Making something up to complain about. And actually based on bullshit reality.****

    > I highly encourage you
    > take advantage of one other great American freedom,
    > THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.
    >
    > If you agree -- pass this along;
    > if you don't agree -- delete it!
    > Phil
    > AMEN
    >
    > I figure if we all keep passing this to our friends
    > (and enemies) it will also, sooner or later
    > get back to the complainers, lets all try,


    ****Well, did it get back to the complainers? Did anyone send it back to Phil?****

    >

    Current Mood: disappointed
    Thursday, January 1st, 2004
    9:06 am
    It's a new year
    Mitch used his luxury sick day ticket today. For Christmas (and other holidays of avarice) the kids get "tickets". One of these is always a luxury sick day ticket. They can use it to bow out for the day, no matter what is going on (school, etc). They can request their favorite foods, play videogames and watch movies to their heart's content, and leave messes everywhere they go. It's a hot item around here and Mitch just spent his. He's watching Pirates of the Caribbean in his bathrobe. He said he'll let me know when he's hungry.

    Alex is sleeping in. When Fin takes a nap, I'll crawl back in and he'll get up with her when she wakes... leaving me to finish out my sleeping requirements. Until then, I am a baby-watching zombie. And a special food preparer, sometimes. Like today.

    Speaking of special food, I must be doing something right. My nine year old made some incredible omelettes yesterday. Perfect. I was in my mid twenties before I managed to produce a truly good omelette. He did everything, start to finish. I never even stepped foot into the kitchen. I'm still reeling from the realization that things are looking better than average, parenting-wise. I think I'm going to be turning out some winners here.

    I never made a resolution. So, as a stand in, let's say that my resolution is to keep the highchair clean. Instead of spending thirty minutes every third day scrubbing it down, I'll give it a wipe after every meal. You know, while the food is still moist and not cemented on. It'll save time in the long run. But that means I have to be all ... regimented. So, given my personality, it's worthy of a New Year's Resolution. And So It Will Be.

    Current Mood: calm
    Wednesday, December 31st, 2003
    3:47 pm
    Last hours of the year
    Tonight, we set off fireworks at midnight, central standard time. Then it'll be 2004.

    Alex is taking a semester off to work on a project for NASA. Yes, trees in space. He just got a letter from some fancy pants guy praising his prowess... copies were sent to his boss, his boss' boss, and several other people. Apparently it's a big deal. Big enough to postpone the PhD, at least.

    He really wants to work on his book. He's writing a book about a kid named Horatius. It's pretty good and he's not even finished with the first go round. After editing and stuff, I am thinking he will be the first published author in our family. Fine with me, as long as he makes us rich. Heh.

    I got home from work last night at around 11. He was asleep. Next to the bed, on the little table, was a pile of candy wrappers, an empty glass, the bottle of good scotch, and the laptop. He was working on Horatius. :)

    So, in these last hours, I am supposed to be pondering my goals for the coming year. I guess I could. What I should really be resolving about is my laziness because I'm too lazy even to make a resolution. Or my procrastination because the thought that just went through my head was "I'll do it later, I still have a few hours..."

    Current Mood: good
    Tuesday, December 30th, 2003
    10:41 pm
    Tired, overly
    The year is ending. It's weird to think that a year ago, there was no Finwe. Well, there was, but we didn't know her yet. Now she is this PERSON. With hair that gets in her eyes. And just below that, the cutest dimples you've ever seen. I wonder what she'll be like when she's twenty. *pause for cheesy Bill and Ted fade out to silly fantasy of how things could be*

    Soooo... I had a really weird thought today. It was getting dark. I was driving. The light was failing. Not my car lights... I mean the light from the sun. :b It struck me for the first time in my life in an earthy, realistic way that holy fucking god... the sun is moving to the other side of the planet. Well, actually, it doesn't go quite like that, but you know... Anyway, how self absorbed was I to meander along all this time just fancying that the lights are controlled by some big dimmer switch under a big holy hand... and then when it is dark, it's time to pack up my game and head into facilities with electricity?

    Noooo... the big hunk of cold dirt we're riding is turning us away from the sun, bathing us in a huge chilly planet-shadow for hours and hours. I'm thirty fricking two and it just now struck me how much we depend on that big ball of flame in the sky. I mean REALLY struck me.

    I've been hanging around Alana too much. :) She's this girl I know. She reads too much CS Lewis.

    Current Mood: tired
    Monday, December 22nd, 2003
    5:45 pm
    Does this light make my walls look fat?
    Ahh. Nice to finally have a place to ramble on. I should have done this ages ago. I spent most of today in a sickly funk. I painted all day Saturday and all day Sunday. The fumes must have done a number on my poor unsuspecting cells. My cells. I'm made of cells. They're getting older by the minute. Age... ugh. Only recently have I given any thought to the cells that make up this lump of flesh I affectionately refer to as *me*. Those little buggers need something more than toast and coffee for building maintenance. They need some mortar, bricks, steel I-beams... maybe some kryptonite (is that how you spell it? I doubt spellcheck will catch that one...) But wait... isn't kryptonite the stuff that effed superman up? So not that. My cells don't need that. Point is... I need to start being healthier. Oranges, fresh spinach, stuff like that. Maybe a glass of water now and then.

    Speaking of water! I managed to water my plants on time twice in a row! I never knew they could look so perky. I can only keep one kind, you know. Pothos, philodendron... that kind. Even I can't kill those.

    So, I was talking about painting. I painted our bedroom yesterday. Purply chocolate brown. Alex tore down as much wallpaper as he could peel off easily and said that I should just go at it like that. Not a good idea. It looked GREAT last night. I was so pleased after a hard day of fume-sucking. It was so clean, so dark. Ahh. I slept well. Then. THEN. I woke up and it was sunny. The blinds had been removed for the painting. Eeesh. Well, just imagine it. Brown paint over a bumpy, torn-up wallpaper wall. It looks downright creepy. I decided I need some great big *things* to put up on the walls to distract the eye from the oogy texture. I mentioned mirrors. Alex seemed to like that idea.

    So I ordered some light blocking roller shades. *whistling*

    It's six o'clock here. I need to feed my kids. Alex is out spending hundreds of dollars on food for our four (!!) Christmas parties. I'm going to feed the kids tuna fish on crackers and big fat juicy florida oranges I got from a friend for Christmas. It's going to be a simple meal, and they're going to like it. Dammit.

    Current Mood: amused
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